Monday, February 25, 2013

Hobbyist Lobbyists

... Or:  For the Love of God, please do not judge me!

Unless it revolves around finding cures for common colds, any hobby can logically be dubbed by mothers everywhere a 'Complete Waste of Time'.  After all, devoting energy into a pastime that does not return the favor comes close to skirting that insanity definition we are all familiar with.

Think about it:  I devote energy admiring Kim Kardashian's ass.  After doing so for however many years, is she going to show up at my door one day and offer a 'thanks a lot' blow job?  Of course not.  I don't play basketball.  Or bleach my teeth.

What, other than a secretive marital aid, does admiring Kim Kardashian's ass get me?


So why do we devote energies into ungrateful pastimes?

I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson, but a wise man once said - and I am paraphrasing here, "You may as well distract and shield yourself from the universally inevitable conclusion that 'Life sucks and then you die.'"

Kim Kardashian's ass is, if nothing else, a distraction from the banal; the same as all of my other hobbies.  Yours, too.

"Hold on there, Anti-Grammar," I can hear the protests now, "I get more stimulation out of _____ as your wife does her vibrator.  Do not tell me _____ is a mere distraction!"

Being a good husband and father, raising our children so that they aren't self-centered little beasts, making a difference in the lives of anyone but myself - those are the areas that I choose to focus on.  Give or take a few commandments.

If I am to be judged by my hobbies, I may as well be judged by my admiration of Kim Kardashian's ass.

'Cause an interest in Captain Beefheart paints me hungry and weird.  And admitting an appreciation for Lucy Van Pelt gets me nothing but angry stares from the Snoopy crowd... the uptight bastards. 


  1. I can relate to your post above. I can remember being asked "What good is that D&D stuff for, anyway?". Some people were honestly interested about the game. I am sure they had heard the reports and rumors during the satanic panic of the early 80s and were able to figure out that it was just another game to play. Granted, a different type of game, but still a game.

    Of course, there were the others that just *knew* there was something diabolical inside those boxed sets and hardbound books. It seemed these people could not be swayed from their ill opinions regardless of what anyone said or showed them.

    Not every hobby or activity has to produce some form of tangible result to be considered "good" or "producitive". Gaming is typically a time consuming hobby activity; not only preparation time but actual play. If people would take into consideration that all of the time spent preparing to play and playing a game is time NOT SPENT out raising hell by engaging in dumbass teenage mischief. While small amounts of that may be healthy, some people just do not know when to quit and simple mischief leads to other things. A parent should be relieved to see their child and some friends gathered around a table on a Saturday night rolling dice at home instead of out on the streets because they snuck out.

    Down off the soapbox...

  2. Excellent comment, Charlie; much appreciated.

    My snake-eating-its-tail post was in response to a comment made to me by a family member not too long ago: "You're still a nerd, aren't you? I remember when you use to love Star Wars."

    And it was true: I did love Star Wars. I was also nine, but whatever.

    It doesn't matter what hobbies take up our time - someone is bound to laugh it off as a waste of time. Right before they go back to watching Dancing with Stars, or facebooking their latest flatulence.

    1. WOW! That's hilarious and a good observation. I find it funny that people look crossways at role-players, wargamers, etc. and consider it a big waste of time when there are shows like American Idol and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo cluttering up the TV.